I‘ve ranted before about LinkedIn’s AI … erm … offerings, in which they take all of the accurate data which you have diligently input about yourself and your career, run it through some janky AI that someone’s dad made in the shed, and output a load of slop so inaccurate that you suspect it’s not your information at all.
Last week, my LinkedIn feed began to be populated with colourful cards and posts which contained AI-generated summaries of people’s year on LinkedIn, a bit like Spotify’s annual Rewind. The cards were a product demo from an AI company called Coauthor.studio, which claims to “helps busy professionals turn ideas into influential content.” Most of the people who were doing the cards seemed to be taking it very seriously.
I, however, am Glaswegian.
I thought, just for fun, let’s see what this groundbreaking AI has to say about me. Keeping in mind that it’s just looking at what I’ve input to LinkedIn, so it should be totally accurate. Right? Right?
So, in the interests of having a laugh, here is what this third-party AI said about my year on LinkedIn.
First, the rainbow shiny card.
Oh god.
Leaving aside the fact that I don’t care about my metrics, numbers, or gamification at all, nor do I have much patience for anyone who does –
or, for that matter, the fact that “vibe” and “superpower” are not words I would ever use to describe my middle-aged arse, except for maybe that one time I absent-mindedly mixed prescription medication and supermarket wine –
the major problem there is the quote, which I had shared widely. The AI has attributed the quote to me. It’s not mine, of course. And I’m going to be pretty pissed off if that card trains an AI LLM to think the quote is mine.
Hence we see how this AI’s alleged main feature is actually an epic fail, and a fairly disrespectful one too.
So once you’ve finished chortling at that, we now come to the AI-generated summary of my year on LinkedIn.
PEOPLE, I DID NOT WRITE WHAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO READ.
What I will say, though, is that I was only able to read the AI’s output in the voice of Ellis from “Die Hard”.
So without further ado: Hans, bubby, here’s your year in LinkedIn!
Here’s my 2024 LinkedIn Rewind, by Coauthor.studio:
2024: The year I discovered that fighting digital rights violations requires both legal precision and relentless provocation.
This wasn’t just another year of freelance policy work – it was a systematic deconstruction of how privacy gets dismantled, one bureaucratic loophole at a time. While pursuing my MSc in Law, Technology, and Innovation, I’ve been collecting receipts on how institutions and platforms continuously erode our digital autonomy.
Key Insights from the Frontlines:
• Exposed how workplace technologies are weaponizing AI to scan confidential communications
• Highlighted the insidious ways platforms like LinkedIn opt users into data harvesting
• Demonstrated that a privacy screen isn’t just an accessory – it’s a political statement
Most Resonant Provocations:
1. “Privacy Screens and Cabinet Ministers”
“I use a privacy screen if I am anywhere outside my house, full stop; and I’m not even a cabinet minister.”
https://www.linkedin.com/feed/update/urn:li:activity:7198937959914422272/
2. “AI Training Data Privacy Warning”
“Whatever they might be, both of which are scanning all your client confidential matters and NDA’d discussions which you assume are completely private and internal, there might be a lot of lawsuits against you waiting to happen.”
https://www.linkedin.com/feed/update/urn:li:activity:7197124301290885120/
3. “LinkedIn’s Covert AI Training Opt-Out”
“Did you know this awful site you’re on right now has opted you in to the use of your personal data and content to build their generative AI model, without your consent?”
https://www.linkedin.com/feed/update/urn:li:activity:7242130599577096192/
Major Milestones:
• Secured full scholarship for MSc at University of Strathclyde
• Maintained freelance practice while expanding academic expertise
• Continued dismantling privacy violations with surgical precision
Looking Ahead to 2025: Expect more pointed analysis at the intersection of law, technology, and human rights. The academic toolkit is just another weapon in the digital rights arsenal.
Consider this your warning: privacy isn’t just a technical problem. It’s a political one. And I’m just getting started.
#DigitalRights #PrivacyMatters #TechPolicy
That, there, is what the AI said about me.
There are two takeaways from this experiment:
One is that AI LLMs remain patently incapable of understanding context or intention, which results in outputs that are good for New Year’s Eve comedy and not much else.
And two is that if I ever talk like that in real life, please bundle me into the boot of a car, drive me to an off-grid Highland bothy, and spoon-feed me porridge until I recover.
Bubby!
